The Middow

I Need to Talk (but don’t want to)

I had my first counselling session this evening. All day it’d been on the edge of my vision, a sharp black thing spearing my view. I logged onto zoom. There she was, my counsellor. She had emailed me, and now I had a face to put to the short, kind, phrases she had typed. HereContinue reading “I Need to Talk (but don’t want to)”

Dan and J

Yesterday’s Facebook memory was a photo of Dan and J at Manchester Airport. They were heading off to Hamburg together, to visit Dan’s dad, Steve. Dan was 13, J 12. Dan had already made the journey by himself a couple of times by then. I’d take him to the airport, wave him off as heContinue reading “Dan and J”

Blackbird

The route I took with the dog this morning was busy. Maggie and I paused at the far side of the bridge, to let a family of five amble past. We waited a few moments longer, until they had rounded the bend and wandered from sight. Just as we too rounded the corner, an olderContinue reading “Blackbird”

The regulation of emotions through carrier bags

I think about how I might regulate my emotions. I visualise them as the jumble of bags for life stuffed into a bigger, sturdier bag, or stuffed into a drawer. I picture myself lifting them out, trying to take one at a time. Sometimes, I pull at a red handle on one, but out tumbleContinue reading “The regulation of emotions through carrier bags”