Middowed: The Basics

Middow is a coined term for a mother whose child has died. I came up with it because I couldn’t find another word that fitted. There is a Sanskrit term, vilomah, that means against the natural order of things. That definitely describes the general state of being but doesn’t quite signify a person. Middow is a mixture of mother and widow. As the single parent of an only child, Dan’s death really did rip away half of my life and change my identity. I am a Middow.

Dan’s death. On May 26th 2018 Dan was knocked down and killed by a speeding driver as he crossed the A61 in Hillsborough, Sheffield. He suffered severe brain injury, was placed on life support and his death declared at 13:43 on Sunday 27th May 2018.

The memoir. I’m writing a book about Dan, and about my grief. The chapters alternate between my experience in the twelve months after Dan’s accident, and the story of Dan’s life from birth to fifteen. I am writing it as a memento for myself, firstly, but also to hopefully share Dan’s story with others. He was great, and I’d love others to see that too. I want his story to live on.

Key people. I’m changing names to preserve anonymity. Dan has no choice about what I write about him, but other people may be less delighted to find themselves subjects in my tales! I can explain who they are as I go along. J, who’s featured in an earlier blog, is Dan’s longest standing mate. If that wasn’t clear then, hopefully it is now….

Published by The Middow

Fifty-something middow, partner, dog-owner.

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